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missing letter claim (2023)

from 2018 - 2023 by nak

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about

lyrics: daniel
instrumental: jang0

lyrics

The gravity inside my head is greater in the middle
The morning light illuminates the crater on my pillow
Still daily berated by these reappearing dreams
Squeezing a stuffed animal to ground me when I sleep
People tap their feet to music, I tap ‘cause I’m submitted
thought obsession made you stronger that’s the point of repetition
Or maybe I’m just spinning. I’m guessing there’s a difference
“I’m trying to find my center” like I’m stuck inside a twister
Second-guessing my decisions: some things I either did or I omitted
Keep me living in a past that can’t forgive me
There’s people who I’ve hurt and who I’m pleading for forgiveness
Apologies are weakest when you speak ‘em from a distance
Machinery is ticking; the hands of time gripping
Both sides of an hourglass flip it
And sand keeps dripping, I wonder if there ever be a day
God shows us destinations of the roads we could’ve taken

How many ways He placed that I plainly ran away from?
I think I’m most creative when making justifica-
Every A.I. brain in the world collaborating
Can’t make excuses better than humans explaining failure
The truth ain’t always naked, mistrusting of my judgment
Can’t tell if what I’m clutching is its substance or its nothing
I hope the sun is coming. And if it’s gotten stuck
I’m a sail in that horizon with a crowbar
It’s time to lift it up.

If the light keeps hitting the delay, let’s burn the plains ‘til they all ablaze
If pain gets sicker by the day, let’s embrace the ache ‘til we suffocate it
If shame gets thicker and opaque, let’s go and make mistakes, be flagrant
If fate keeps getting in our way, let’s punch him in the face while saying

It’s time to lift it up

I won’t spend another minute staying stuck
Some people wait for answers I ain’t got the same luck
I wonder if my messages to heaven came up?
Maybe I should file a missing letter claim
Or maybe God ain’t really showing us His voice
‘Cause after all, He made us with the agency of choice
So why am I awaiting resolution and direction
When the roads He put before us might just all be the correct ones?

credits

from 2018 - 2023, track released October 17, 2023

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nak Chino, California

though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him

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