We Will Always Be (Family)
"Sincerely," EP (2012)
NAK & Elyon Beats
Show me where the levee is, let’s sit and watch the river
As it flows with a consistency I wish we could pursue.
And though the pain is evident, this journey was a requisite
I feel a certain heaviness, I know you feel it too.
My body weakens when these memories spontaneously
Break into my brain. Ironic how the pain
Is amplified like a speaker when the times contemplated
Were the days that were greatest: now it’s all that remains.
There’s something special; something simply unforgettable
About this simple gathering: living and intentional
I’m sitting with a pen, a thought; a statue on it’s pedestal
Written down the memories to stash it in my envelope
So here’s a memo and a billion copper pennies
Representing every though I had of you (it’s not for spending)
But I’m spent and I’m ending my attempts of assertiveness
And praying to my Father that His Will ain’t misinterpreted
These mistakes... That’s how I’m learning it.
I hate change... But that’s what inertia is.
I made a table from the pain that overdosed my conscience
Broke my fist and then I wrote this “bloody” poem on it.
Show me to trail that’ll take us to the waterfall
Listen to the metaphor: learn from it’s example
Even though we “fall,” we should always be transparent
Even though we “crash,” we will always be majestic
Watch me discipline my patience like a finger to the parchment
The fire in my heart just seemed to flicker in the “darkness:”
Traded in my passion for the sake of the tradition
Beat my body for the mission but the payment was my “vision”
I know I’m young but I know something wasn’t feeling right
This sacrifice should never keep me weeping in my sleep at night
I’m misaligned like a lady losing focus:
Holds her baby on her shoulder with a case of scoliosis
We’re getting close but never close enough to open up
I’m getting cold but never close enough to warm me up
This one’s for everybody hiding in the secrecy
For every week of being weak without you seeing it
For every inconsistent moment asking if it’s worth it
I forgive that I could count on your discouragement
God forbid perhaps I sicken you with honesty
And I forgive that you’ve withheld your reciprocity
You ever felt the pain of weeping with sincerity
To find that not a single drop released was taken seriously?
Have you ever chose to chase the passion in your heart?
Flaming matches in the dark? Making action from a spark?
Ignite the fear and vanish: scrape the ashes so the diamond shines
Only in the end just to be criticized: I just can’t
reach the expectations set by everybody else
When I hardly could fulfill the ones I’m setting for myself
Let’s have another meeting... let’s talk about the plan
Let’s discuss how we’ll advance, let’s entrust it in His hands
I’m sorry for my apathy, I’ve been depressed lately
I haven’t been myself I know, I’ve been so stressed lately
I know what real darkness is; road is long and arduous
The yoke is hard and pardon for the scarring on my cartilage
Locked in war and the casualty is hope and growth
I’m ‘battling with emptiness,’ my family is broke
And I just want to talk, but it just seems you’re busy praying
We’re swimming in an ocean and it’s hard to stay afloat
I’m sickened from the drowning so I floated to the coast
And then I walked upon the dock and now I’m waiting for the boat
I’m here to help, so here’s a pair of empty shoulders
Let me take upon the load; ignore the fact my soul is broken
It’s best to settle if we can’t defeat the elements
When comfort is an easy price to pay to be irrelevant
So what happened? You wonder for my absence,
My answer is pointing to the fact it’s my sadness
and sin. I can’t even manage my skin
To fake being intact; the scars from within
I needed help, badly. And pity doesn’t do it
Nor does singing over music when your actions ain’t congruent
I’m sorry. I love you, but it sucks that I’m so insecure
Even when I showed my heart; bled it out... poured.
But I never saw yours. I never saw yours.
I’m all grown up, yet I’m so immature.
The nuisance it will tailor... I’m stupid with emotions
If this Kuya was a failure then this truth is my atonement
I never know the right words to say.
I can’t control myself standing face to face
I’m a coward so I can’t just speak “it all...” (at all)
And this is why I love to write these stupid freaking songs
And I just want to say I freaking miss my family
I cherished every moment we all had of being happy
I wish that we could fix the petty grudges that we’re holding
I wish that we’d forgive each other’s faults before it’s too late
But it wasn’t your fault. I promise that I pray for you
Your memory embedded in my brain everyday for you
I’m here for you. I love you and I swear that’s what I’m here to do.
I’d sacrifice whatever if it makes the Gospel clear to you
If God would grant me peace, well then I promise I would stay for you
If I were called to fight for this, I promise I would train for you
And if the game is life or death so then I promise I would play for you
And even though I’m gone I freaking promise I remain for you
So show me where the levee is, let’s sit and watch the river
As it flows a tranquility that softens up the pavement
I think the rain is coming... Wash away the heaviness
You’ll always be a blessing to my life... you will always be Famous.
We will always be Famous.
You will always be Famous.
We will always be Famous.