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i'm okay (2018)

by nak

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prod: @skyhighbeatss
video: youtu.be/JWfMq5jufSw

now in my darkest moments i long for a call or a text message
a post on my wall, a request, mention
but nine out of ten my inbox is empty
no phone fluorescence
no invitation to the pity party i wish i was a part of
another night all alone up in my room with the tunes
with the moon and the stardust
i’m thinking i’m a little ironic
i really need a heart to heart
but my heart is hardened but i need you most
come close but you keep your distance like my guards are armed
i’m not your happy-go-lucky companion
i’m only tragic
what’s left of my passion is
slipping through cracks in my fingers like magic
i don’t need your help, i’ll be okay
you’re too late to save me anyway
what kind of hope is left
i’m losing control like I’m tokin’ meth
a rogue when I roam like i’m boba fett
if i’m alone for a sec it ain’t copacetic: i’m mad paranoid
and i mourn for the man that i used to be
he died and my pride did the eulogy
let me "deal" in peace; another pack of cards
used to rap from the heart now i rap from the scars
i wish i could tell you that
i’m in the midst of the will of the father
but this ain’t a place i could feel him
and i cannot take it no longer
someone once told me i worship myself
and my lover is comfort
so maybe the guilt and the shame
that i carry is just that i suffer
i’m a liar, don’t you understand
my heart is hard so i need to pretend
my pride is large but won’t you see me through
we need each other but we saying
we need each other but i'm saying:
i don’t need your help i’ll be okay
(you’re too late to save me anyway)


released February 14, 2018




nak California

Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.

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