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falling star (2019)

by nak

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I don't blame God for the mess that I made
He don't break hearts or reflect on my shame
I became gray: there's no rest in my brain
Lay me down to rest with the rest of my faith
I did it to myself
I'm wide awake because I always stay up
I lift my face into the sky, straight up
And though the stars above at times will stray
When they fall they turn into Estrella
All I need is a moment for my heart to listen closer
The things we gotta hear are more than often never spoken
So we speak in sign language- you know I never listen
We hardly in the present; too focused on the closure
Holding my composure; master the fermata
But couldn't get the peace to come together like we wanted
Writing rhymes right and left; bass a treble clef
But if you never raise your hands you could never learn to rest
There's still habits that I gratify
Lovers turn to alibis
Habits turn to churches
And conviction turns to pantomime
It seems the older that I get the lonelier I feel
It seems I'm shouldering regrets from things that never healed
I'm pondering so often now that I was never saved
I'm Pontius how I'm haunted by the faces I've betrayed
I made 23 Prayers, I'd take 30 if I could
But even Judas took 30, nailed the Savior to the wood


released November 21, 2019
Produced and mixed by Sam Ock


all rights reserved



nak California

Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.

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