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from kindred & closure (2020) by nak

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- C L O S U R E -
There’s a song that I wrote for an old flame
It's been stuck in my head this past month
I guess the younger me didn’t know what love was but
After meeting you, I think I have a hunch
-back, with my head hung, soul downcast
Tears start spilling off rims of round glasses
Clouds pass; Spring turns Summer
Trading moon beam for sting of burnt thunder
We crumble away out of fear, apprehension
I pray that you see my clear intention
-I thought you needed better; something I’m afraid I’ll never be
While the love you express is a deep I’ll never reach
I couldn’t let you be with me- I can’t reciprocate affection
The fact that I can’t made him question:
I thought love supposed to make you crazy?
If I don’t feel that, maybe I don’t love J*****
Now it’s so long. She moved on
I guess I need to go and do the same
If it wasn’t true love, I’ll recover quick
And I probably should discover but another chick
Clicked with a couple good girls, high quality
Conversation engaging, relatable
But I recognize that none of them compares to you
And I realize to me, you’re irreplaceable
In addition, I was really looking for you
Pangea: you made me feel whole
Didn’t notice how massive your impact was-
Like a crater; my heart’s a black hole
But it’s too late she’s holding someone else now
Had a chance, but you’re still indecisive- bet
She asked him again… if you want her
But you couldn’t bring yourself to say “yes”
‘Cause if I really loved her, I would want the best for her
Someone confident, who’d never rest for her
Someone crazy for her, who would bite every bullet
Someone who could give everything that I couldn’t
I said I didn’t want you but what I’m really saying
Is I don’t want me for you
I figure letting go will-only help you find better
And this is just the best that I could do
My heart bled when you gave me my stuff back
When I saw the heart next to his name
How I cried every night, no appetite
Lost tears, lost hope, lost weight
But let's face it: we're no longer best friends
That’s a role that you gotta give to him, you know
We don’t talk anymore, it’s understandable
So I had to write a song for the world to know
That I love you more than anyone in it
Life without you is bitter: all spinach
Pray till my knuckles white like your skin tone
I notice every white car through my window
Hope you’re standing at the door when the bell rings
I wish that I could show you all of my emotions
And I wish you were there when I’m scared, full of fear
When the doctors uncover diagnosis
I want to watch you succeed and develop
Want to lie in your arms when I’m restless
But I guess we will never be the same again
Now you’re with someone else, I am jealous
I write too many songs for my exes
But I made me a promise I will die with:
That the next love song that I write for a girl
Is the one who I want to spend my life with
Let that sink in. But you deserve better.
All I want is you. But I won’t let you settle.
No matter if everything goes
No matter if everything stays
No matter if everything grows
No matter if everything fades
No matter if everything flows
No matter if everything breaks
I know that my love will stay the same
Now you have two songs


from kindred & closure (2020), released August 28, 2020
- I N S T R U M E N T A L -
"i can't take this" by lxve




nak California

Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.

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